I've been a critic of England for the last few years. Ever since I visited Florida in 1993 in fact! It's no secret I've always wanted to move to the states...................................or South Africa, Australia, Portugal, anywhere else in fact!!
This wasn't helped by having a multicultural group of friends from hockey; Finn, the Coach and Bleeker to name a few who came from other countries! Stories they told of other lands would leave me feeling jealous and wanting something more from my home country. This was then reinforced by my best friend Merlin emigrating to NYC 2 years ago.
For years I just wanted to pack up and ship out. Everytime I opened a newspaper, something else disgusted or annoyed me. Whether it was crime, the government or people in general. To me, my country was a let down. I felt this could be solved simply by upping sticks and hopping across the pond.
Now, I'm not blind to the problems other countries have, but when you live in your own space in your country, you live in a microcosm of the environment - a sub-level to the overruling government - so bigger issues do not always filter down and bother/affect you. It's when they do that you start getting itchy feet and wishing for elsewhere.
It's been like this with England. You all know enough about the state of the place, politics and government, that I don't need to recap. But it just seems to be getting worse, not better. Inner cities are becoming no-go zones and it isn't just the media creating a moral panic. I only need to walk through the town centre keeping my gaze up for a few seconds too long, to have some 12 year old start swearing and cursing asking me what my problem is! That bothers me!!
Going back to my original thread of wanting to emigrate. After a 12 month delay (!), I've just made my 3rd visit to NYC. I spent 2 weeks there over the new year and had the time of my life. I visited places tourists don't normally go. Hung out with friends and lived as a local would. Again, I didn't really want to come home. The city holds a special place in my heart and has a vibe I have never experienced elsewhere. I walk the streets and I feel alive. Again it got me thinking about moving.....
But you know something? This time, I actually felt pretty good once I got home. It was nice to step out of the hectic pace and relax. Don;t get me wrong, I can't wait to visit again, it's already planned for June.
My point is though, there are many amazing places in the world that we hold dear for whatever reason. They will always spark off memories or feelings and transport us back to that time. But rather than think the grass is always greener on the other side, just don't pour weedkiller over your own patch! Nurture and appreciate what you have, rather than always longing for something else.
Maybe that way you learn to appreciate both sides even more.
Word. :)
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
A new year, A new beginning
2010. The end of the noughties - what a stupid term for them, but I won't go into that here! :)
Last year was an interesting one. In terms of up and downs, it had more action than Russell Brands sex life!
The last few months have been good, really good. But I've also lost focus on a few goals I set and a few things I learnt during my layoff last year. It's time now to address these and bring them back into the spotlight.
Motivation hasn't been lacking exactly. I've got a great girlfriend, great apartment and have had some awesome holidays since the summer, alongside getting a permanent promotion at work just before xmas. But dedication has been short.
I have some stuff I want to accomplish in the short term and now I'm feeling refreshed, that's what I intend to do.
Last year was an interesting one. In terms of up and downs, it had more action than Russell Brands sex life!
The last few months have been good, really good. But I've also lost focus on a few goals I set and a few things I learnt during my layoff last year. It's time now to address these and bring them back into the spotlight.
Motivation hasn't been lacking exactly. I've got a great girlfriend, great apartment and have had some awesome holidays since the summer, alongside getting a permanent promotion at work just before xmas. But dedication has been short.
I have some stuff I want to accomplish in the short term and now I'm feeling refreshed, that's what I intend to do.
Sunday, 13 December 2009
The Path to the Dark Side
There is many a path to the dark side. You can walk along a tight rope never really falling off, but when you fall, damn it's hard to surface again. You can be the greatest person in the world, but all it takes is one small insignificant moment....And then. Everything. Changes.
'I want revenge. I can't bear that people might think he got one over me. I can't stand that people expected me to come off worse. I hate that his life goes on, nothing changes. He's a great guy I hear. Total accident. Most of all I detest being forgotten. All I would have wanted were occasional words of kindness and encouragement'.
It's so hard when you feel your blood boil and you wanna put right something that is wrong, but you can't. Not many understand why you yearn to do this. Or why you feel such a need.
This week a Premiership footballer called Dean Ashton had to retire through injury. At the age of 26. In my opinion, most footballers are pampered, greedy, arrogant prima donnas (with the odd exceptions). By all accounts Dean Ashton was an all round good guy. He had made it the hard way. Coming up through lower leagues before getting a big money move to a premiership club. He had so much potential and it was gone, just like that. One. Badly. Timed. Tackle. Over.
There is talk now that Ashton may sue either the player who tackled him, the players club or the football association. A lot of people are hoping he doesn't and can't understand why he would think about it.
Well let me tell you something. Unless you've had a serious injury that has taken a long time to come back from, you won't understand. There's a need for closure, for righting the wrong and for feeling that nobody has 'got one over you'. The mental torment this guy must have been under is immense. I can just about begin to imagine it, so for others they will have no idea.
The anger, subsides most of the time. It doesn't even bubble away under the surface. But sometimes; a photo, a memory, and instantaneously, it's right back to 12 months ago.
The maxim, 'carpe diem' has never been truer. Live your life for each day, forgetting things that don't matter. Let them go.
Easier said than done....
'I want revenge. I can't bear that people might think he got one over me. I can't stand that people expected me to come off worse. I hate that his life goes on, nothing changes. He's a great guy I hear. Total accident. Most of all I detest being forgotten. All I would have wanted were occasional words of kindness and encouragement'.
It's so hard when you feel your blood boil and you wanna put right something that is wrong, but you can't. Not many understand why you yearn to do this. Or why you feel such a need.
This week a Premiership footballer called Dean Ashton had to retire through injury. At the age of 26. In my opinion, most footballers are pampered, greedy, arrogant prima donnas (with the odd exceptions). By all accounts Dean Ashton was an all round good guy. He had made it the hard way. Coming up through lower leagues before getting a big money move to a premiership club. He had so much potential and it was gone, just like that. One. Badly. Timed. Tackle. Over.
There is talk now that Ashton may sue either the player who tackled him, the players club or the football association. A lot of people are hoping he doesn't and can't understand why he would think about it.
Well let me tell you something. Unless you've had a serious injury that has taken a long time to come back from, you won't understand. There's a need for closure, for righting the wrong and for feeling that nobody has 'got one over you'. The mental torment this guy must have been under is immense. I can just about begin to imagine it, so for others they will have no idea.
The anger, subsides most of the time. It doesn't even bubble away under the surface. But sometimes; a photo, a memory, and instantaneously, it's right back to 12 months ago.
The maxim, 'carpe diem' has never been truer. Live your life for each day, forgetting things that don't matter. Let them go.
Easier said than done....
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
End of an Era
Good times come and good times go. And even though at the time you know how great they are, part of you is itching to recreate it before it has even finished. Then when you do try and recreate it................it's never the same.
A lot has changed in the last 18 months. Not just superficial stuff like work, home, love etc. But physical and emotional things too.
The last couple of years has seen a huge amount of people come in and out of my life. I guess I've always been a bit of a drifter, drifting from one group to another. Some of these people were good, some downright awesome and some not so good. But most of them have faded away now. Either physically moved or just drifted, but it feels the end of an era.
I guess now is a good time for reflection. Yesterday, my doc told me that I didn't have to come back to the hospital again for 6 months. I can do a lot of stuff with my leg now, within reason. It seems to be healing well. But reading between the lines, I can safely say that I won't be able to play hockey again for the forseeable future, if at all.
I liked belonging to a team with Hockey, however shambolic a team it was! It was Hockey that allowed me to meet various great people; Finn, Tigger, the Coach, number 35, May Day and more. People I learnt a lot from. Some I still hear from, some I don't.
I guess there always comes a time when thigns have to change. Rather than look back being wistful and nostalgic, I guess the way to look is ahead.
A lot has changed in the last 18 months. Not just superficial stuff like work, home, love etc. But physical and emotional things too.
The last couple of years has seen a huge amount of people come in and out of my life. I guess I've always been a bit of a drifter, drifting from one group to another. Some of these people were good, some downright awesome and some not so good. But most of them have faded away now. Either physically moved or just drifted, but it feels the end of an era.
I guess now is a good time for reflection. Yesterday, my doc told me that I didn't have to come back to the hospital again for 6 months. I can do a lot of stuff with my leg now, within reason. It seems to be healing well. But reading between the lines, I can safely say that I won't be able to play hockey again for the forseeable future, if at all.
I liked belonging to a team with Hockey, however shambolic a team it was! It was Hockey that allowed me to meet various great people; Finn, Tigger, the Coach, number 35, May Day and more. People I learnt a lot from. Some I still hear from, some I don't.
I guess there always comes a time when thigns have to change. Rather than look back being wistful and nostalgic, I guess the way to look is ahead.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
A list
You know you sometimes wander along and get that feeling...you know the one I mean? You smell or hear something and all your senses rushing to the fore at once, a gazillion memories flooding back at the same time and usually accompanied by a pang of nostalgia.
Here's a list of things I like that make this happen :)
1. The smell after a thunderstorm
2. Hearing 'When I come Around' play
3. Being tucked up in bed when it is miserable, cold and raining buckets outside
4. Running around in a heavy downpour
5. Sitting out back with a close friend
6. Walking to the train station early morning, when the sun is shining and the streets are empty
7. Drinking pimms and lemonade
8. Smell of a bbq
9. Drinking Fosters draught in a bar
Here's a list of things I like that make this happen :)
1. The smell after a thunderstorm
2. Hearing 'When I come Around' play
3. Being tucked up in bed when it is miserable, cold and raining buckets outside
4. Running around in a heavy downpour
5. Sitting out back with a close friend
6. Walking to the train station early morning, when the sun is shining and the streets are empty
7. Drinking pimms and lemonade
8. Smell of a bbq
9. Drinking Fosters draught in a bar
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Back in the Old Routine
Saturday 10th October. I finally made it back in the water. It's been a long time.
I'd squeezed in a trip to the states, where a lot of walking, cycling and swimming and stepped up my rehab somewhat. Though only 5 weeks off crutches and not allowed to do anything too strenuous, I though I might be able to squeeze in a short surf trip.
As luck would have it, the Boss was back in town. Granted 2 weeks leave from fighting in Afghan, he was more than willing to hit the old road trip route and reminisce over the past.
Being a little older this time. Not going above 80 and accompanied by girlfriends, we road-tripped to North Devon and setup camp. Everything was set for an end-of-season BBQ and some swapping of war stories around the camp fire.
The surfing itself was good on Saturday. The forecast hadn't been too promising, but the weather was warm, sea still manageable in a summer suit and the sun shining. The waves were regular and in the 3 foot range, even if they lacked a little power.
I'd already prepared myself for the fact I would have no chance of being on a board, so was content to take in a bodyboard and pick off a few waves as and when they had enough juice to assist me. Unfortunately, my ankle was still too weak to allow me to kick for any weaker waves. But I was back, I was happy.
The Boss however seemed to have other ideas. Mellowed by age and experience, but still as eager as ever, he owned the waves. I'm not sure that I have ever seen him surf with such enthusiasm and skill, after such a long layoff. It was a pleasure to be back in the water with the guy it all started with.
The short trip has shown me where I need to work my leg to improve and get back surfing properly. I'm on it.
I'd squeezed in a trip to the states, where a lot of walking, cycling and swimming and stepped up my rehab somewhat. Though only 5 weeks off crutches and not allowed to do anything too strenuous, I though I might be able to squeeze in a short surf trip.
As luck would have it, the Boss was back in town. Granted 2 weeks leave from fighting in Afghan, he was more than willing to hit the old road trip route and reminisce over the past.
Being a little older this time. Not going above 80 and accompanied by girlfriends, we road-tripped to North Devon and setup camp. Everything was set for an end-of-season BBQ and some swapping of war stories around the camp fire.
The surfing itself was good on Saturday. The forecast hadn't been too promising, but the weather was warm, sea still manageable in a summer suit and the sun shining. The waves were regular and in the 3 foot range, even if they lacked a little power.
I'd already prepared myself for the fact I would have no chance of being on a board, so was content to take in a bodyboard and pick off a few waves as and when they had enough juice to assist me. Unfortunately, my ankle was still too weak to allow me to kick for any weaker waves. But I was back, I was happy.
The Boss however seemed to have other ideas. Mellowed by age and experience, but still as eager as ever, he owned the waves. I'm not sure that I have ever seen him surf with such enthusiasm and skill, after such a long layoff. It was a pleasure to be back in the water with the guy it all started with.
The short trip has shown me where I need to work my leg to improve and get back surfing properly. I'm on it.
Friday, 2 October 2009
All Mouth No Trousers
Pecs to die for, a sculpted six-pack, boardies worn low and the latest board shaped by Al Merrick. Owning a pristine VW camper and spending a week each Summer in Newquay. Now that's what it takes to be a surfer. Facebook is full of people who pose as surfers in their profile pictures, but probably haven't been out back, let alone stood on anything more advanced than a foamy.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against people learning to surf. Totally the opposite. I love people taking it up and the excitement they get once they are hooked. I still remember the feeling I had when I caught my first ever wave on a big foam Swell board. It's the feeling I'm still trying to recreate 8 years on.
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against people learning to surf. Totally the opposite. I love people taking it up and the excitement they get once they are hooked. I still remember the feeling I had when I caught my first ever wave on a big foam Swell board. It's the feeling I'm still trying to recreate 8 years on.
I remember I saw a photo of a friends 'love interest', on myspace. The guy used to rave about how he was a surfer, yada, yada, yada. Sure he looked the part, the hair, the clothes, but this photo.......well, not only was he walking along the beach at sunset carrying his board (oh yeah a 6'2 thruster that would rarely get use in this country!), he had his leash round his ankle. Mistake number 1. Nobody walks down the beach with a leash round their ankle, you trip over the damn thing! I could have forgiven him though, I mean the guy might have been Jeebus and floated across the sand, avoiding leash tripping (yeah right!). The clincher though........he was wearing his skin tight white vest with his boardies. Was he gonna wear that out there or put it in his pocket?! It was more like the Abercrombie and Fitch 05 catalogue shoot.
Who cares what people ride or where they do it. Who cares if it's the fashionable surf spot to be at or the gnarliest. Surfing isn't about macho bullshit or partying 24/7 then surfing. Surfing comes from within. It isn't something you do, it's a state of mind. It isn't the physical act of being in the water and partaking in a watersport. It is something you feel. Something grounded in humility. Something anyone can be part of, but they cannot own it or allow their ego to be bigger than it.
Aloha.
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