Tuesday 28 April 2009

Out of the Game

As I sit at my desk working, my mind is always wandering. I’m constantly restless. I know deep down that I don’t belong in an office, it’s almost like a cage to me. But in this life our choices exist within certain boundaries. And as a good friend recently said; ‘It is usually more profitable and successful to follow the path of least resistance’.

Why am I so restless? Well, I guess 5 months of not having total freedom are slowly pushing me to the edge. I’ve lost the skip in my step that was in existence a few weeks ago. I’ve lost some of my compassion for other people and slowly I am losing the desire to be a better person and better myself. All negative things and stuff I must stop. Other people, work and life in general seem designed to bring you to this state. It seems there is a game you have to play in life and those who have power or get off on making others miserable, are the winners.

Of course I could easily blame other people for the loss of spring in my step.

I won’t blame others though. Although it is hard to take the high road, rise above the monotonous of everyday crap and ignore others when they seem to be at their most irritating, annoying and bullying. It is something worth pursuing. As I recently said to Moony who was experiencing some of the same feelings as me, towards others; you need to take a step back and put things in perspective. Out of the billions of people in this world, who cares what a few say, do or think. Their lives must suck if they have to make themselves feel better in such a way.

5 months of staring at walls, relying on others and constantly explaining the same story over and over, slowly grate. But I’ve got to look on the bright side. I’m fit and healthy and I’ll soon have my freedom back. I’m taking myself out of this game. Office politics aren’t for me. Games of one-upmanship the same. While they waste their lives playing them, I’ll be metaphorically sticking 2 fingers up, whilst sat outback on my board, facing the horizon.

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